


Follow me Into the Fire

by uwukotoa



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapping, Other tags will be added as the story progresses, Torture, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwukotoa/pseuds/uwukotoa
Summary: Separating from the group is always a terrible idea. Separating from the group while inside a creepy wizard’s creepy castle labyrinth is an even worse idea.Somehow Jester and Beau still found themselves in a damp corridor away from the rest of the Nein, dodging the wizard’s puzzles and mind games to the best of their ability. That was how they ended up in a dark and moldy cell.[SEMI-ON HOLD, SPORADIC UPDATES AT BEST]
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 22
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all the Critters! In this terrifying time, with Critical Role on hiatus and all the time in the world, I decided to write this garbage fire of fanfic. This was originally going to be about 2 chapters and then I think I passed out and wrote 20 pages on google docs. oops? I hope someone can have as much fun reading it as I have had writing it so far. 
> 
> Title from Gravedigger by MXMS

Separating from the group is always a terrible idea. Separating from the group while inside a creepy wizard’s creepy castle labyrinth is an even worse idea. Somehow Jester and Beau still found themselves in a damp corridor away from the rest of the Nein, dodging the wizard’s puzzles and mind games to the best of their ability. That was how they ended up in a dark and moldy cell. It didn’t help that the wizard had taken Jester’s Traveller symbol so she couldn’t use her magic to get them out.

“They’ll be coming for us, the Nein will be here soon,” Jester’s voice comes from across the room.

“Just stupid. Fucking stupid.” Beau muttered as she pulled on the chain that restrained her to the opposite wall. The two had already attempted to reach each other, but they weren’t able to touch, the chains fastening one of their wrists to the walls were just barely too short to let them reach across.

“They’ll be coming. Our friends will come and save us soon.” Jester said again, her voice filled with equal amounts of worry and hope.

\----------

“Beau?” Jester’s voice was soft and timid. Beau desperately wanted to reach out to her, provide her some kind of physical comfort. No matter how hard she pulled on the chain around her wrist, however, she wouldn’t be able to reach the girl across the room. 

“Are they going to kill us?” The hope that had been in her voice before was finally gone. There was only fear left.

Most of the hope of rescue disappeared the first time she had to watch some of the wizard’s skeevy men torment Beauregard. The Nein should have saved them by now. They should have come and beat up the wizard and gotten the two out of this hellhole. Jester had lost track of the amount of time that had passed. For all she knew, it could have been a week or it could have been a month. Whatever small amount of sleep she got was uncomfortable and interrupted. She never woke up feeling rested or energized. 

“What?” Beau rasped as she roused from her attempted meditation. The last time the wizard’s men tortured Beau they choked her to the point of nearly crushing her windpipe. 

“Are we- are we going to die?” Jester asks again, the sound of tears creeping into her voice. It makes Beau want to reach out to her, get closer to her, and it made her even angrier that she can’t.

Beau had lost all hope a long time ago. Her father had sucked it all out of her when she was a kid. Beau had to be there for Jester. She had to reassure her, keep her going, keep her strong. Be the support her father was not. Beau could hear the desperation in the other girl’s voice, the fear that was practically taking her over. Beau could hear her giving up. Neither of them was prepared for something like this, it had only taken a couple of days for the rest of the Nein to find Yasha, Fjord, and Jester the first time they had gotten taken outside of Shadycreek Run. 

“No. We’re gonna be okay. The Nein will come and-” Beau’s supposedly reassuring sentence dissolved into wheezing coughs. 

She could barely see Jester’s form in the darkness. Beau’s goggles, staff, and circlet and Jester’s Haversack, shield and handaxe were all missing when they woke up in the cell. Beau wants to fucking kill every last one of the wizard’s men, she just has to get out of the chains they put her in first. The first time they had tortured Beau she landed a few well-placed hits before they shackled her wrists and ankles. 

“Jester. Our friends are coming.” Beau gasped out, her throat burning. 

“Our friends are coming. Our family is coming.” Jester said, her teary voice barely audible.

“That’s right,” Beau replied as she closed her eyes. They need rest to keep their strength up. “Our family is coming.” Beau sunk into a restless sleep. 

\----------

The muffled, grating screams of pain were bad enough, it was worse when the screaming stopped. 

Jester hadn’t been able to do anything but scream and cry when the dungeon fell silent. She couldn’t see Beau, couldn’t help her. She still didn’t have her Traveller symbol. She had to get out of the chain around her wrist, had to get out of the room to help Beau. The men had never taken either of them out of the cell before, gods knows what they were doing to Beau. Her Beau. The cries of pain had been horrible, but it was worse when they stopped. 

Jester had to push away the thoughts that Beau had died. No. She can’t think about that. That’s not an option. She couldn’t be dead, could she? No, she can’t. She isn’t dead.

When the men opened the heavy wooden door, all Jester could see was Beau’s limp and beaten body being dragged into the cell. No care or concern was given as they threw her next to Jester and shackled her ankle to another chain fastened to the wall. At least she could reach Beau now. At least they weren’t on opposite sides of the room. At least she could help.

“Beau. Beau. Beauregard. Wake up.” Jester sobbed, her hands hovering over Beau’s broken body. She didn’t want to hurt her further and didn’t have any magic to heal her.  
Please be alive, please be alive

Her hands were shaking as she checked Beau’s pulse. She released a breath of relief when she felt the pulse beneath her fingers, no matter how faint it was. Beau was sopping wet and covered in bruises and cuts. Her clothes were ripped and her vestiges and sashes were missing.

“Beau. Please- please wake up.” Jester says softly, pressing her hand to Beau’s shoulder. It wasn’t until then that Beau jolted awake. 

“No, no,” Beau screamed hoarsely as she scrambles back to the best of her ability, her hands and ankles still shackled. “Please, please, please no I don’t know!”

The desperation and fear in her voice just about broke Jester’s heart.

“It’s just me, Beau. Beau, you’re okay. Beau.” Jester was trying to sound reassuring through the tears that were streaming down her face. “Beauregard. It’s me. It’s okay.”

Jester’s assurances are just enough to stop the other woman from yanking at her restraints so hard they would draw more blood and to get her to stop begging. Jester has never seen Beau beg before. It seems so weird coming from Beau, someone who seems so strong and proud all the time. 

Jester didn’t know what they did to Beau, but seeing how she was acting, how scared she was, it couldn’t be anything good. If it was anything like what she had been through with the Iron Shepherds…

“Beauregard,” Jester whispered as she gently cupped Beau’s face. She could practically feel the fear, pain, and agony radiating off of Beau. Not just physical, but pure emotional anguish. 

“I didn’t- I couldn’t tell them anything. They- they wanted something.” Beau rasped, tears beginning to fall. “Information. Things I didn’t know. They didn’t believe me.” Beau gasped out, her throat still destroyed.

“Beau-”

“Like he would ever tell me. The last time I was in Kamordah was when we went to fix Nott, you know damn well he didn’t tell me where it was!” Beau wailed, sobbing even harder now.

“Beau, who? What-”

“They wanted to know where my father had something. An artifact. They wanted the location. But I don’t know where it is and they didn’t like that. They wouldn’t listen to me!” Beau sobbed as she collapsed into Jester’s arms, gasping and choking. 

“Beau, Beau. I’m here. I’m here.” Jester said as she gently stroked the hair of the woman shaking and sobbing on the floor next to her. 

“They would- they didn’t listen. They wouldn’t listen. They- they threw me across the room, they cut me with burning knives, they-” Beau’s sobs were cut off by a bout of grating coughs. “They choked me, crushed my throat. They- they burned me, I couldn’t breathe, everything was so dark, so cold, so-.”

“Beau. Beau. Breathe. Breathe. Beauregard.” Jester said as she pulled Beau into an embrace. Beau flinched away before quickly melting into Jester’s arms, burying her face into Jester’s neck as she fell apart in Jester’s strong arms. 

Beau and Jester sat on the cold stone floor, Jester stroking Beau’s tangled hair and whispering calming assurances while the woman in her lap shook and sobbed. Beau didn’t know how long it had been by the time her breathing calmed down. Her throat was raw and painful. She stayed in Jester’s lap, clinging to her through her entire panic attack, it was the first time they were able to touch since they were taken. She didn’t know why they had finally decided they could be together but it didn’t matter. There was so much comfort in just finally being able to touch and be held. 

Jester could feel Beau calming in her arms, but she wouldn’t let go of the woman for anything. She needed physical comfort almost as much as Beau seemed to.

“Where are you hurt?” Jester asked softly. She knew Beau was hurt, and badly too. She could see the cuts, bruises, and burns marring the woman’s skin but needed to know if there was anything she couldn’t see.

“I- I’m fine,” Beau whispered meekly, her voice barely audible. 

“Hey, Beau. It’s me. I need to know where you’re hurt.” Jester replied, pulling out of the embrace so she can look into Beau’s eyes. “Let me help you.” Concern was laced in her voice, making it wobbly and fearful. She wanted to be there for Beau like Beau was always there for her. 

Beau turned in Jester’s lap to show her her chest and stomach which had taken the brunt of the cuts, burns, and bruises. She definitely had some broken or at the very least bruised ribs. She raised her manacled wrists, which were rubbed raw and bleeding. Her ankles looked mostly the same, they had stolen their shoes when they took them. She surely had a black eye, and her temple was definitely bleeding. Her body was covered in cuts, burns, and bruises from when they threw her around, beat her, and cut her with white-hot knives. 

The most worrying thing for Jester, however, was Beau’s throat. There were bruises around her entire neck, much worse than they were before. Deep shades of purple, black, and blue marred the skin there, in the terrifying shapes of hands, rope, and chain. Her breath was still labored and shaky, her voice was raspy and grating.

“What- what else?” Jester asked, her shaking hands hovering around Beau’s body, wanting to touch her but not wanting to hurt her.

“It’s my chest. It- it hurts so godsdamn much.” Beau replied, her ruined voice scraping out of her crushed throat. “They- they beat me, my chest. My fucking ribs hurt so fucking much. I-” Beau’s sentence got cut short by another round of hacking coughs. What worries Jester the most is the blood that she coughs up. 

“We’ll- we’ll get out of this. You’ll be okay. Just hold on until the Nein come and save us.” Jester said as she pulled Beau back into her arms. She won’t let anything else happen to Beau. Her Beau.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who finished this fic, I hope you enjoyed! I currently have about 4 more chapters pre-written, but that's nowhere near the end. If you have anything to say or any constructive criticism, please leave it in the comments. I am still new to AO3 and writing in general, so any help is greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Beau could only sleep when she was cradled in Jester’s arms. She didn’t know how long it had been since either of them had gotten any meaningful amount of sleep, but Beau could get what she assumed was at least a couple of hours of rest if she was in Jester’s arms. 

It had to have been a couple of days since they had seen the wizard’s men, a couple of days since they had thrown Beau back in the cell battered and bruised. 

Jester wouldn’t let them touch Beau. Not again. She failed to protect Beau, her Beau from them before. Especially now that Beau seemed to be getting sick. One of her many injuries must have gotten infected. 

She was burning up with a fever and shivering with chills. Her cough was already bad and becoming worse, her voice growing increasingly raspier and quieter. The most worrying part for Jester was the blood that came up with it. Jester did her best to keep her warm in the damp and moldy cell but Beau’s chills were only getting worse. 

The shivers had gotten so bad by now, Jester knew Beau really needed help. She was doing her best to keep Beau warm but without her healing spells, she was lost. Why did she have to be so reliant on her abilities? She didn’t actually know what she was doing, her spells had always worked. She had always had the Traveller there to help her. 

“Jes... I’m fr-freezing.” Beau mumbled as she curled further into Jester, trying to find any extra warmth the other woman had to give. 

“I know,” Jester said, rubbing her hands across Beau’s arms. Rubbing someone’s arms makes them warmer right? That’s what she had always done when she got cold. It was helping, right? She pressed her lips against Beau’s sweaty forehead, the heat of fever burning hot under her skin. “You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay Beau.”

Jester shook at the thought that she might lose Beau. They’ve been so close to losing her before, and every time was so hard. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost her. If Beau’s heart decided to stop… it would destroy her. 

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t have any- anyone. Who cares if I die?” Beau whispered, so quiet it was almost inaudible. 

“No. Beau no. You’re not going to die. Our friends are coming and we will be okay.” Jester said, tears beginning to drip down her face. She had to be strong for both of them. “I know it’s hard, but I need you to stay alive. If not for you, then do it for me.” 

Kissing Jester wouldn’t solve all their problems- but it might help. Jester hadn’t realized how close their faces were until Beau’s lips were on hers. The quick kiss was all Beau had the energy to give, the sickness having drained the rest. 

“You’re more important than you know,” Jester whispered as Beau slumped back to unconsciousness in her lap.

\----------

Jester was running her hands through Beau’s sweaty hair, rubbing what she hoped were comforting circles on her scalp. The woman was lying against the cold floor, her head in Jester’s lap. Beau needed to sleep some, the sickness and torture had drained everything out of her. Jester had to be the strong one, had to keep it together for Beau. 

She nearly lost it when Beau muttered something nearly incoherent about making sure she gave Dairon some letter.

“Beau. You will see Dairon again. I’m not letting you go.”

At least it got Beau to open her eyes. Their imprisonment had sapped Beau of all her energy, but she still couldn’t get any meaningful amount of rest. 

The sheen of sweat and green tint to Beau’s skin made it so clear. They needed to get out of there, Beau didn’t have much longer. It didn’t help that her raspy breaths and broken ribs getting worse and her throat didn’t seem to be healing at all. Jester had to get Beau out of this moldy and disgusting room. It definitely wasn’t helping her health. No matter how much she tried, Jester couldn’t get Beau warm. Whatever heat she did transfer into Beau’s body seeped out just as fast. 

“I won’t let you die here,” Jester whispered to the shivering woman lying in pain in her arms. 

“Jes- I… it’s okay. I’m not important, but you are. You’ve gotta get out of here.” Beau mumbled, staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

“Beau, you’re loved, we care about you. I need you to hold on just a little bit longer.” Jester replied, her grip tightening on Beau’s shoulder. 

“Jessie, you have to get out of here, they only want me and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you got hurt because of me,” Beau whispered, her eyes unfocused through the sickness. 

“You can’t say that. We all care about you too much.” Jester’s tone was trying to be convincing but her voice was getting choked up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Beau muttered, slumping back into unconsciousness.

Jester was going to get them out of this. Somehow. 

\----------

When she heard the door open, Jester threw her body in front of Beau, trying to hide Beau and offer herself to their captors instead. 

“Please please take me instead, just spare her. You’ve put her through enough.” Jester begged the figure in the doorway. Tears were streaming down her face. 

“Jester? Beau?” The soft, worried voice of Yasha floated through the heavy cell door.

“Yasha?”

“Oh, fuck.” Yasha gasped as Jester leaned out of the way to reveal Beau’s bruised and unconscious form. 

“She’s really really sick.” 

Yasha was on the other side of the room in a second, kneeling down in front of the two women. “Beau wake up. Wake… please wake up.” She cradled Beau’s face, her concern immensely growing at the clammy heat of her forehead. She pumped her meager healing ability into Beau’s form, bringing Beau to an uneasy consciousness. 

“Whatthefuck-” Beau yelped, startling backward. “Don’t… don’t come closer.”

“Beau. It’s me. Beauregard, you’re safe.” 

“Yash- Yasha?” Beau said softly, glancing up at the tall woman through the darkness. 

Yasha pulled a large keyring off her belt. “We have to go. Now.” 

“She… the chains on the- the wall-” Jester mumbled, brushing hair off Beau’s sweaty forehead. 

Yasha put a large hand on Jester’s shoulder, trying to comfort her. “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re safe.” 

Jester held Beau’s head in her lap, tapping her face in an attempt to keep her conscious as Yasha unlocked the chains fastening the two women to the wall. “Beau. Stay with me. Stay awake. Just a little bit longer.”

“Fuck we don’t have time for this.” Yasha threw the keys onto the floor and gathered Beau up into her arms bridal-style, leaving the manacles locked around her wrists and ankles. Beau’s head automatically lulled onto Yasha’s shoulder as her world slipped back into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thanks for reading, and thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos on the last chapter. I'm going to try to get chapters out every Tuesday and Saturday, but that is a tentative hope so I'm sorry if I can't keep that schedule. 
> 
> Also, I can't believe I forgot to say this in the last chapter, but come and check me out on Tumblr at dykewithdice for mostly CR and Long Furby content.


	3. Chapter 3

It would be a lie if Beau said she remembered much after the wizard’s men took her away from Jester. She vaguely remembered moments when she would wake herself with violent bouts of coughing and choking, and the excruciating pain she was in. 

When she finally woke up, she immediately turned to the side of the bed she found herself on and retched her guts out, a fair amount of blood coming up as well. She felt a big hand on her shoulder, rubbing comforting circles into her back. 

“That’s it. Let it all out.” Yasha said, her voice calm and comforting above Beau. 

“Jester- where’s Jester?” Beau rasped as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. 

“You’re not going anywhere, Beau,” Yasha kept a firm hand on Beau’s shoulder. “She’s fine. You both need rest.”

“Fuck that! You don’t know what we went through. You don’t know if she’s really fine or not!” 

“Beauregard, stop. You’ll hurt yourself further” 

“Can you just take me to her? I need to know if she’s okay. I need to-” Beau’s sentence was cut off by her hacking coughs. 

“It’s the middle of the night, Jester is asleep. I need you to rest some more, we can talk to her in the morning.” 

Beau groaned but didn’t say anything else about seeing Jester. She knew she wouldn’t win any arguments right now. 

“Fuck why does everything still hurt so much?” Beau complained as she realized just how sore her chest and throat were. 

“You’ve been through a lot. There was only so much Caduceus’s magic could do for you, it’s going to take time for you to heal.” 

Beau groaned, already exhausted again and annoyed with her fatigued state. She slowly lowered herself back onto the bed, gasping at the stress it put on her ribs.

“Please, just sleep for a little bit longer.” Yasha sat back onto her chair, the moonlight streaming in through the window illuminating her face. 

Beau slowly pulled the sheets back over her body, curling into a small ball, the same way she sometimes would during a storm or during a night of high tensions. Eventually, she fell back into a restless sleep with Yasha delicately stroking her hair.

\----------

Yasha was awoken about an hour later by Beau’s rasping breaths rapidly quickening, soon turning into hacking coughs. There was pure fear in her piercing eyes. 

“Jes- Jester?”

Yasha stood up violently fast, nearly knocking over the chair she had accidentally dozed off in. Admittedly, she hadn’t gotten much sleep when Beau and Jester were missing. 

“I’m here, Beau. You’re safe. Jester is safe.” Yasha whispered, trying to soothe the trembling woman lying next to her. 

“He- he took her. He took her and I couldn’t protect her. I… I couldn’t stop him I-” 

Yasha softly brushed away the tears staining Beau’s face with a type of delicacy not often seen from the larger woman. “No, she’s okay, she’s sleeping in the next room over.”

“Nononono he- he took her and he hurt her and I couldn’t stop him, I couldn’t protect her.” The words were spilling out of Beau faster than she could comprehend them. “I don’t- I couldn’t- he... no...”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. You’re here. She’s here. We’re in the Xhorhouse. You’re both safe.” Yasha was trying to be calming, but she wasn’t sure her words were working to soothe Beau. 

After a few minutes, Beau’s panicked breathing slowed and her worried mumbling stopped. She slowly climbed to a sitting position, wincing at the pain in her chest as her still-healing ribs shifted. She absently reached up and started brushing her fingers along the bruises around her neck, soon beginning to scratch at the wounds. Yasha recognized the motion, remembered rubbing her wrists after the Iron Shepherds, the phantom feeling of manacles weighing them down. 

“I didn’t- I thought we were there. Back in that cell. The- the wizard- he took her. He hurt Jester.” Yasha reached over to Beau, pulling her hands away from her neck. “I- I couldn’t stop him. Couldn’t save her.” 

“Beauregard. You’re free. She’s safe. You can see her tomorrow, but tonight you both need sleep.” 

“How long has it been since you slept in a comfortable place, not on the floor or a chair?” Beau asked, pulling Yasha’s hand closer. 

“Since you and Jester went missing,” Yasha replied, absently rubbing patterns into Beau’s bruised knuckles. “Two weeks ago.”

“C’mon, get over here. Get some real sleep with me?” Beau slowly laid back down, groaning at the strain on her bruised chest. 

Yasha couldn’t say no to a request like that. She pulled off her boots and shawls and sat on the bed next to Beau. “Are you comfortable?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. All good here.” Beau whispered, entwining her fingers with Yasha’s and setting her head on Yasha’s chest. “Mmmmh, goodnight Yash. Love ya.”

Once Beau’s breathing evened and deepened, putting on the front of sleep, Yasha pressed her lips to Beau’s temple. “Goodnight, Beauregard. I love you, too.”

Beau was, in fact, not asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to look up the thesaurus definition of "rasped" for this one. 
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading and hopefully sticking around. I might not be able to keep a strict upload schedule for the next week, I've got some personal things happening, but I'll get another chapter out as soon as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter going back on Jester's perspective

Jester was worried. She was absolutely terrified. But she knew she had to be strong. Had to protect Beau. That was why when the door opened, she threw herself in front of Beau’s unconscious body, why she offered herself to the wizard’s men.

Then she heard Yasha’s voice. 

“Jester? Beau?”

The sound of her voice was enough for Jester to look up at the door, relaxing when she saw it really was Yasha. The Nein were here. Their friends, no, their family had come to save them.

“Yasha?” 

She leaned out of the way, revealing to Yasha Beau’s unconscious body behind her. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

“She’s really really sick.”

Yasha was across the room in an instant, kneeling down in front of Jester and Beau. She softly cradled Beau’s face, feeling the unmistakable heat of fever under her skin. 

“Beau wake up. Wake… please wake up.” 

Beau startled out of Jester’s lap as Yasha pumped her meager healing ability into her. 

“Whatthefuck-”

Jester held onto Beau, trying to keep her from hurting herself. 

“Beau. It’s me. Beauregard. you’re safe.” Yasha lifted Beau’s face, forcing Beau to look into her mismatched eyes. 

“Yash- Yasha?” Beau’s voice was hoarse.

“We have to go. Now.” 

Yasha pulled a large keyring off her belt and began rifling through the multitude of keys attached. 

“She… the chains on the- the wall” Jester felt like she was about to start crying.

Yasha quickly unlocked the chains around Jester’s and Beau’s ankles, only dropping the keys once. She put her hand on Jester’s shoulder, trying to calm her violent shaking down. 

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re safe.”

Jester softly tapped Beau’s face, trying to keep her conscious. “Beau. Stay with me. Stay awake. Just a little bit longer.” Beau grumbled, still in a state of half-consciousness. It was enough for her.

Yasha was fiddling with the keys again, trying to find the one that fit the manacles still around Beau’s wrists and ankles. 

“Fuck we don’t have time for this.” 

Jester watched as Yasha dropped the keyring and swooped Beau up into her arms. Beau curled into Yasha further and slipped back into unconsciousness. 

Fjord suddenly crashed into the cell, panting and sweating. “Hey- we gotta… gotta go before… before the wizard gets back.” 

Jester shakily stood up behind Yasha, using the wall for support. Even though Beau had taken the brunt of the torture, being in that cell for who knows how long and the few swings their torturers had thrown at her to intimidate Beau had still taken their toll. She had still been sitting in that musty and cold room for days on end with barely any food or water. 

“Hey, hey. Lemme help you.” Fjord rushed over to the other side of the room, grabbing Jester’s arm to support her. She wrapped her arm around Fjord’s waist and followed Yasha out of the cell, Fjord supporting a fairly large amount of her weight. 

They continued up the dungeon hallway, eventually walking out from behind a bookshelf of sorts and into a creepy and dark library. There was already a teleportation circle drawn on the floor that the rest of the Nein were standing around. In all honesty, her memories of their rescue were a bit hazy. She was absolutely exhausted.

The moment they got back to the Xhorhouse Fjord swooped Jester up into his arms and took her upstairs, depositing her in Yasha’s bed. 

“Hey! What the fuck?” Jester yelped, trying to push herself off the bed. 

“No, Jester. You both need rest. Caduceus told me to bring you up here the second we got back.”

Jester flopped back onto the bed, feeling defeated. She knew she wasn’t going to get what she wanted, and honestly, she was really tired and wanted to take a nap for the next three years. 

\----------

The next few days went about the same. She woke up, ate a large amount of soup at Caduceus’s request and then a larger amount of pastry, and then spent most of the day sitting either in the hot tub or on the roof in Caduceus’s garden, talking to whoever happened to be there at that moment, making drawings for the Traveler, and waiting for Beau to wake up. She wanted to go see Beau, but Caduceus said that she couldn’t because Beau still needed rest and that Yasha was taking good care of her. 

\----------

Caduceus found Jester on the roof 6 days after their rescue, very focused on a new drawing. 

“Hey, Jester. Beau woke up, she wants to see you.” 

Jester jumped to her feet, nearly spilling the jar she had paint water in. “Well fuck then let’s go!” She turned and sprinted down the stairs, Caduceus amiably followed behind, his long legs making it easy to keep up. 

“Hold on,” Caduceus grabbed Jester’s wrist, stopping her in front of the door. “Beau had some nightmares last night regarding the wizard. She thought he had captured you and hurt you, at least that was the recounting I got from miss Yasha. She seemed very worried and thought you should-”

Jester threw open the door before Caduceus finished his thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the weird upload schedule, but I wanted to get a few chapters out early because I got excited. I probably won't be able to update for a few days so I'm posting this chapter now, the next chapter will probably be posted around Wednesday.


	5. Chapter 5

“Beau! I heard what happened last night are you okay?” Jester trilled, slamming the door open before rushing to Beau’s bedside. 

“Hey, Jes.” Beau groaned, pulling herself to an uneasy sitting position. 

“I’m so sorry! I’m okay please don’t be scared. He didn’t do anything to me I promise!” 

“Jessie it’s okay. The only thing that’s important is that you’re safe.” 

“Hey! It’s important that you’re okay too! I know you don’t think so, but we love you very much and would be heartbroken if you were hurt.” Jester was feigning cheerfulness in an attempt to make Beau realize how loved she is. 

“Jes, I’m okay. It takes more than a few bruises to get me down.” Beau’s voice was filled with fake cheerfulness. 

“Wait right here. I’m going to go get Caduceus to make you some soup. I was so hungry when I got back, you must be absolutely starving.” Jester chirped, turning and skipping out of the room.

“I do not believe you,” Yasha muttered matter-of-factly when she was sure Jester was out of earshot. “Talk to me.”

Beau didn’t respond. Yasha wasn’t sure if Beau had even really heard her. She reached over and put her hand on Beau’s shoulder. 

After a moment, Beau spoke up again, completely ignoring Yasha’s previous statement. “Yash, how long were we in that wizard’s lair?” 

“You were missing for 8 days. We brought you back to the Xhorhouse 6 days ago.” 

“What exactly happened when you found us?” Beau’s eyes were unfocused and looking anywhere but at Yasha.

“We- we went further into his labyrinth. Further in than we had gone the first time. We found your goggles in front of a bookshelf that turned out to be a secret doorway. There was a spiral staircase heading even deeper.” Yasha said quietly, her voice shaking. There were tears beginning to run down her face, smudging her dark eye makeup. “It took us down to a dungeon, and you were in the last cell.” 

“Oh, Yasha,” Beau said, her hand shaking as she reached up and brushed a tear from Yasha’s cheek. 

“Jester threw herself in front of you, she was sobbing about you. Telling me to spare you, take her instead. Then I saw you. Jester was hurt, but you… you-”

Beau took one of Yasha’s larger hands into her own, grounding her.

“You were covered in blood and bruises. So pale, and you were barely breathing. Your throat, it was so bruised and bloody. You were, are, so, so thin. I could count your ribs. You wouldn’t wake up, were barely conscious when I tried to heal you.” The words were spilling out of Yasha’s mouth faster than she realized.

“The keys I stole could only unlock the chain fastening you to the wall, Nott had to unlock the manacles around your wrists and ankles. I carried you out, you were practically unconscious again. When we got out of the dungeon, Fjord helped Jester to where we could cast a teleportation circle and come home.” They were both shaking and crying. “You were so scared, it was terrifying. I want to kill the fuckers who did that to you.”

“Slow- slow down. What did you say about them?” Beau asked, fear creeping into her broken voice. 

“There- there was absolutely nobody there. The place was deserted save for some rats. Nott took care of all the traps, but there were no more enchantments.” Yasha replied, getting increasingly more confused and worried. 

“Oh. Oh fuck. They’re planning something. Something big. You were supposed to find us, supposed to rescue us. They wanted you to. Oh, fuck this is bad. You have to take me back. They only wanted me, they didn’t care about Jester.” Beau pleaded, trying to convince Yasha to protect the Nein at her expense. “Give me back to them to protect yourselves. Please.” 

“Beauregard. Beau, look at me. We are not giving you back to the people who tortured you. The people we rescued you from. It’s not an option.” Yasha cradled Beau’s face in the same way she had when she found them. “We love you too much to let you get hurt any more.” 

“Nonononono you… you don’t understand. They will hunt me down and they will hurt whoever gets in their way. The only reason Jester is still alive is because they knew that hurting her wouldn’t be useful to them. That I wouldn’t tell them what they wanted if they did. Not that I knew what they wanted.” Beau’s sobbing was completely uncontrollable, her grating voice choking on her words. “You have to take me back there. I won’t allow you to get hurt on my behalf. They will kill you, Yasha.” 

“Beau, you need to stop. Stop thinking you’re not worth anything. We all love you. More than you could ever know. You’re wanted. Needed. We’re not going to let you sacrifice yourself to ‘save us’. We didn’t let you at the witch’s hut and we’re not going to let you now.” Beau cringed at the memory of her proposition to Isharnai. “We can protect ourselves, and we will protect you.”

“Yasha, I can’t let you do that. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if any of you got hurt protecting me. You have-” Yasha pressed her lips into Beau’s, staunching the flow of her self-deprecation. 

“Beauregard?” Caduceus’s soft voice wafted into the room. “I brought tea.”

Caduceus and Jester walked in, carrying a pot of tea and two large bowls of soup.

“I thought miss Yasha might like to have some- oh.” Caduceus faltered, Jester nearly running into him, barely saving the teapot from falling. “Do you… want me to come back later?”

“No, Beau needs some food,” Yasha said, leaning away from Beau, a clear blush forming on her alabaster skin. 

“Yasha! Beau! Are you guys okay?” Jester yelped, running around Caduceus and towards the pair, nearly dropping the tea again. She’s not the most graceful person. 

“We’re fine. I just need to convince Beau that she’s worth all our love and more and that she’s not allowed to turn herself over to the wizard that kidnapped you.” 

Caduceus handed all the women mugs of tea. It was a fragrant drink that had jasmine and rose petals in it, the tea Caduceus often makes when they get back to the Xhorhouse after a hard battle or an intense debate with a dangerous person. 

“Beau you can’t do that!” Jester wailed, tears forming in her eyes. “Give yourself back? Nope. I won’t allow it. We’ll lock you in the house if you try to leave.”

Beau cringed at Jester’s crude choice of words.

“Oh shit, that was probably the wrong thing to say. I’m so sorry Beau!” Jester wailed, tears beginning to form in her eyes. 

“It’s okay, Jes,” Beau said softly, her throat scratchy and sore. The tea was helping.

“Miss Beau, I strongly recommend that you eat some soup, you haven’t eaten in a while.” Caduceus placed the bowl of soup in Beau’s lap. “Miss Yasha, I assume you would like some as well?”

“Yes, thank you Caduceus.” Yasha accepted the bowl of soup, setting it on the bedside table. 

“Jester, let’s leave these two alone.”

Caduceus and Jester shuffled out of the room, leaving Beau and Yasha alone once again. They sat together in silence, Beau carefully spooning the soup into her mouth, Yasha watching her. 

The soup tasted of pumpkin or some other squash. It was mostly flavorless, but that was what Beau needed right now, something that wouldn’t upset her stomach. Caduceus had made the soup with the intent to get Beau the nutrients she needed and had been deprived of for so long, not for it to taste great like most of his food. 

The food was good and Beau was happy, sitting there with Yasha’s hand on her wrist. Everything was okay. It was all going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello yes I am back. I'm sorry I couldn't get a chapter out a couple of days ago, so have one now.  
> Anywho, I love all your comments, they keep my writing juices flowing and help me get chapters out faster. (holy crap that was the sappiest and most generic thing I've ever said, I'm sorry)


	6. Chapter 6

Beau ate as if she would never eat again, but that was to be expected. She hadn’t eaten in any real capacity since before her imprisonment. The wizard’s men had brought them some moldy bread a few times as they weren’t of any use to the wizard dead. The food they had given them was bad, but it kept them alive.

“You should eat some too. You’ll need your strength if you’re going to carry me around once I’m authorized to leave my room.” Beau joked, brandishing her spoon in Yasha’s direction and dripping soup on the floor. 

“Let’s make sure you’re taken care of first,” Yasha replied, tipping the spoon back into the bowl so that no more soup spilled. 

Beau spooned the soup into her mouth as fast as her shaky hands would let her, only spilling into her lap once. She ate about a third of the bowl before Yasha took the spoon from her. 

“Hey! What the fuck?” Beau exclaimed, weakly trying to steal the spoon back so she could continue eating. 

“Don’t make yourself sick,” Yasha said curtly, lifting the bowl from Beau’s lap. “You need to pace yourself, your body isn’t used to food right now.” 

Beau whimpered in protest but soon relented when she felt a cramp begin to form in her stomach. 

“Yeah no, you’re right,” Beau whispered, lying back onto the bed and curling into herself. Yasha laid down next to her and put her hand delicately on Beau’s upset stomach. A warm sensation fluttered under Yasha’s hand, and Beau was unsure if that was her angelic healing ability or just Yasha. 

“Thanks, Yash.”

“For what?”

“You’ve been so kind to me when you definitely didn’t have to.”

“Beau, we all care about you. You’re worth it.” 

“Why though?” Beau muttered softly.

“Hey, none of that.” Yasha chided. 

Shit. Beau hadn’t realized she said that aloud. 

“You don’t get to decide who loves you. I love you, Beau.” A blush crept up Yasha’s neck when she realized what she really said, that she loved Beau. She’d felt something towards Beau for a while but only recognized what those feelings were when she was gone. 

“Yasha, what?” Beau said, dumbfounded. “You- you don’t want to do that. I’m not worth your love.”

“Beau, you’re worth more than anything, to me at least,” Yasha whispered, softly tightening her grip on Beau’s body. 

“I love you too, but caring for me is going to bite you in the ass. There are some people who will stop at nothing to get to me. Thanks to the Cobalt Soul, I’ve made many dangerous enemies.” 

“We all have dangerous enemies, we’re in the middle of a fucking war. We will all protect you if someone tries to hurt you again. We will take care of the wizard. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before.” Yasha’s voice was filled with sorrow and regret, her grip on Beau tightening further. Beau wondered if she was thinking of Mollymauk too.

“Yash, it’s okay. I’ll be okay. But you have to let me protect you too.” Beau let out a massive yawn, the soup in her stomach making her drowsy. 

After a moment of silence, Yasha spoke up again. “Beau?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re important. We all care about you.”

Another beat of silence. 

“Love ya, Yash,” Beau whispered, snuggling further under the comforter on the bed.

“I love you too, Beauregard.” Yasha pressed a kiss to Beau’s forehead. 

Beau and Yasha laid in silence for a while before Beau fell back asleep. She was still exhausted from her recent imprisonment, clerical magic could only do so much. She needed time to heal. Her soft breaths were reassuring, however seemingly laborious and strained. Beau needed the rest and Yasha needed the reassurance that Beau was really there, really with her. She let Beau sleep, her arm wrapped around Beau’s waist, feeling the comforting rise and fall of her chest under her hand. 

\----------

The next few days were much of the same. She ate whatever Caduceus told her to and spent most of the rest of her time on the roof with Yasha and Jester by her side. Caduceus had finally authorized her to leave her bed, as long as she had help. 

The nights were harder. They were riddled with coughing fits and nightmares, Beau waking herself and Yasha up multiple times a night. They were hard but manageable. Yasha could usually rouse Beau with soft shaking of her shoulders or tapping on her face, could usually calm her down with a few minutes of soft words and comforting embraces. 

That was, until Fjord brought up the Labyrinth at dinner one night.

“Did anyone else get a weird feeling while they were in that library?”

Beau stiffened.

“Like, did anyone else feel that they were being, uh, watched?”

Yasha gently intertwined her fingers with Beau’s underneath the table. “We can go if you want to.”

“No, Yash. It’s okay.” Beau replied softly, squeezing Yasha’s hand. 

“Something felt off in there.” Fjord continued, ignoring Beau and Yasha. 

“Yeah, cause they were fucking watching you.” Beau’s grip on Yasha’s hand tightened. “Why do you think the wizard wasn’t fucking there? They wanted you to find us.”

“Beauregard, what do you mean?” Caleb asked, his eyes wide. 

“They fucking wanted you to rescue us, probably to find you and hurt you to get back at me.” Beau stood up quickly, wincing at the strain it put on her sore muscles. “He wants to get something from the Soul. An artifact of some kind. It’s not like I know where it fucking is, they don’t tell me everything.”

“Stop, Beau. Slow down.” Caleb said softly but firmly. 

“No, me being here is putting you all in danger.” Beau leaned heavily on the table to support her weight.

“Beau. Let’s go.” Yasha put her arm around Beau’s waist, softly pulling her away from the table. “It’s late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a little while, and I know this chapter is kinda short but the next few chapters have been a doozy to write and I don't want to leave y'all hanging for too long. 
> 
> Comments are my lifeblood and I love reading everyone's responses to my work, thanks for all the positivity and compliments.


	7. Chapter 7

Yasha gently led Beau back to her room, keeping a strong grip on her hand the entire time. 

Beau stopped them in front of the door. “Yasha, why did you-” Her sentence died off halfway through. 

Yasha turned to look at her, keeping her hold on Beau’s hand. “You were getting heated, I don’t want you getting hurt.” 

“It’s just, I want them dead. I do, Yash. But we can’t do that until we find them.” 

“Beau, we’re all doing our best. Trust me, I want to kill them just as much as you. Just, please, continue recovering. For me.” Beau leaned in and pressed her shoulder to Yasha’s, letting Yasha retake some of her weight. 

“I know, Yash. I know.”

“It really is late. You should sleep.” Yasha wrapped her arm around Beau’s shoulder, pulling her in closer. Beau melted into Yasha’s side and let her lead them the rest of the way to bed. 

Yasha helped Beau get herself situated in her bed before sliding in behind her, Beau quickly turning to pull her closer. “G’night, Yash.”

“Good night, Beauregard.” Yasha pressed a kiss to Beau’s forehead as she drifted off. 

\----------

Yasha was awoken a few hours later by Beau beginning to shake violently. 

“Beau. Beau wake up,” Yasha softly shook Beau’s shoulder, trying to rouse her from her apparent nightmare. 

“No, please, no- no…” Beau weakly tried to thrash out of Yasha’s arms. Yasha had never seen her react to a dream like this before. “No, please… dad I don’t wanna-”

Oh.

“Please Beau, wake up. Beauregard.” Yasha pulled Beau in tighter, trying to rouse the terrified woman. 

Beau woke with a start, a choked scream caught in the back of her throat. She scrambled backward and fell gracelessly off the bed. 

“Beau, I’m here. You’re safe.” 

Beau’s body was wracked by heaving sobs. “It’s not, he was- he’s here. Its-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just a dream.” Yasha slowly slid off the bed towards Beau’s trembling form. “Breathe. Breathe.” 

“I was there, back in the room. And he- he was there too.” Beau grabbed her head, curling in on herself. “They took me from her and I couldn’t do anything to stop them.”

Yasha ran through the assurances she told Beau every time she woke up from a nightmare. “We’re in the Xhorhouse. Jester is safe. You are safe.” 

None of it seemed to be helping. 

“Nonono- he was there, he was here. I couldn’t escape him, couldn’t save her.” Beau pulled herself into a small ball, shaking and rocking. 

“Beau, slow- slow down. Tell me what you need.” Yasha wasn’t sure if Beau was really even hearing what she was saying. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Beau started scratching and rubbing at her throat, across the ghost of old bruises. “He hurt her. I’m so sorry-”

“Stop, Beau. Breathe. In, and out. In, and out.” Yasha’s hands hovered over Beau’s balled-up form, unsure if the contact would help her or hurt her. 

“I couldn’t stop him, couldn’t save her even if I wanted to.” Beau choked out, her panicked breathing showing no sign of calming. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Yasha finally cradled Beau’s trembling body, holding her tight. “I won’t let you go. Come back to me, please, Beau.”

Beau stiffened suddenly, tears rolling silently down her face. “Dad…” 

Yasha let her fall apart in her arms, held her as she sobbed. She’d held Beau before as she cried, but something felt different this time. These weren’t the same tears of pain and anguish that she had seen before, these were tears of regret, of fear. 

She held Beau for a while, letting her grieve, letting her come apart. Letting her do what she needed. It was after what felt like hours but was probably only 30 or so minutes when Beau spoke up again. 

“Did they fuck with your mind as well?” Beau did this a lot, asking questions out of the blue without giving context. She must have seen the confused and worried look on Yasha’s face because she quickly amended her question. “The Iron Shepherds, I mean.”

“No, not- not in the way you mean. You were… gone, much longer than we were.” Yasha gripped Beau’s hand tightly. “I think the wizard had, uh, different motives.”

Yasha saw the look on Beau’s face, the stray tear that slipped out. “Hey, tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me what you need.”

“We’re gonna fucking kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bidet Critters, I hope everything is treating you well. 
> 
> I'm sorry about the wait, that took way longer than I expected to finish up. Things just weren't sitting right the first time I wrote it, so I decided to completely scrap the chapter and re-write the entire thing. I hope I'll be able to get the next chapter up faster, but no promises. The plan I have will delve into some shit so it might take me a hot minute to get it out. 
> 
> Anywho, thanks for reading and sticking around, I love you all!


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